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  Ticket Collector - Naughty Riddle ;)
Posted by: funchit - 04-09-2011, 10:15 AM - Forum: Jokes - No Replies

[Image: 6994D-ticket-collector.gif]





A TC in a train collects fine from girls...


He collects Rs.300 from a girl-
she was wearing sleeveless.


[Image: girland1cat.gif]



From 2nd girl he collects Rs. 200
she was wearing sleeveless & backless.


[Image: blondiegirl.gif]





From 3rd girl he collects Rs. 100
she was wearing a sleeveless & backless & a skimpy mini-skirt.. .

[Image: blueshoe.gif]






From 4th girl he collects Rs. 0
why?



Scroll down !



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Perverted minds !! what r u thinking??




Scroll down !



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She had a ticket !!!


[Image: smileyco.gif]

[Image: smileyco.gif]

[Image: smileyco.gif]

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  Funny one liners
Posted by: funchit - 03-31-2011, 10:38 AM - Forum: Jokes - No Replies

Funny one liners


* I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she's interested in,
she said: Cheque books.

* The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the
prices of new car.

* What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into
men when they drink.

* What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

* Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute
and then expects your pulse to be normal.

* Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on
the mat as you came in? New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.

* Q: Why dogs don't marry?


A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

* Q: What's the diff between mother & wife? A: One woman brings you
into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.

* Santa enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and
closes it. He does this again and again. Why?
Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out funny one liners.


Laugh00 Funnypost

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  wholesale cheap cell phones
Posted by: ivyseo - 03-23-2011, 07:05 AM - Forum: Jokes - No Replies

Our site offer different styles good and

[url=http://www.wholesaleidea.com/cell-phones-mobiles-c-1.html] cheap

cell phones [/url] ! You can enjoy choice On our site!You won't

regret it!
[url=http://www.wholesaleidea.com]http://www.wholesaleidea.com[/url]

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  The Turtles On Picnic [story] Funny Joke lol
Posted by: funchit - 05-29-2010, 07:16 AM - Forum: Jokes - No Replies

A turtle family decided to go on a picnic.

[URL=http://img29.imageshack.us/my.php?image=07rid064slowdownenjoyli.gif][Image: 07rid064slowdownenjoyli.gif][/URL]

The turtle being naturally slow about things took 7 months to prepare for their outing finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place.

During the second month of their journey they found a place ideal for them at last.

For about six weeks they cleaned the area, unpacked the picnic basket and completed the arrangements, Then they decovered they forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home.

Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtle, the little turtle whined,cried and wobbled in his shell. He agreeed to go on one condition that no one would eat until he returned.

The family consented and the little turtle left.

Three months passed and the little turtle had not returned. Five months, six month.... Then on the seventh month of his absence the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat.

At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, "See I knew you wouldn't wait. Now Iam not going to go get the salt". Grin01

MORAL: Some of us waste our time waiting for people to live up to our expectations. We are so concerned about what others are doing that we do not do anything ourselves.

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  Few Jokes.. Enjoy!
Posted by: funchit - 03-25-2010, 05:46 PM - Forum: Jokes - No Replies

Few Jokes..Enjoy

[URL=http://img62.imageshack.us/my.php?image=funnypolarbearpicimg121.jpg][Image: funnypolarbearpicimg121.jpg][/URL]

SARDARJI bought a new mobile.

He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said, 'My Mobile
No. has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'


SARDARJI : I am Proud, coz my son is in Medical College .
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
SARDARJI : No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.


SARDARJI : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
SARDARJI : Can I take it tomorrow, tonight is final game.


SARDARJI : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
SARDARJI : No, I'll also stay with your sister.


SARDARJI : People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
SARDARJI : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh GOD! U have come again..


SARDARJI complained to the police: 'Sir, all the items are missing,
except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'Howz that the thief did not take the TV?'
SARDARJI : 'I was watching TV news...'


SARDARJI comes back to his car & finds a note saying 'Parking Fine'
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for the compliment.'


How do you recognize a SARDARJI in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.


Once a SARDARJI was walking. He had a glove only on one hand .
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.


SARDARJI was in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
Says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'


SARDARJI : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
SARDARJI - If only the winner will get the cup, then why are the others running?


Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
SARDARJI : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'

HAVE A GOOD DAY

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  You can try again! [joke]
Posted by: funchit - 03-12-2010, 06:09 PM - Forum: Jokes - No Replies

[Image: pregnantcard.jpg]

A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant.

Scared??..She confides this ' news' to her mother.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did This to you?

I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature And distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the Girl, and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the Problem. However, I can't marry her because of my personal family Situation, but I'll take responsibility.

If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account.

If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account.

If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each.

However, If there is a miscarriage or unsuccessful delivery , what do you suggest I do?"

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him...


"You can try again!!!"

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  Is this 555-4350 ? [Joke]
Posted by: funchit - 03-05-2010, 06:39 PM - Forum: Jokes - Replies (2)

Is this 555-4350 ??

[URL=http://img682.imageshack.us/my.php?image=ist29349519youngmantalk.jpg][Image: ist29349519youngmantalk.jpg][/URL]

A man calls home and maid answers. Let me speak to my wife.

Well Sir, she is busy.

He says, Im busy too, put her on.

Maid replies. Im sorry sir; she cant come to the phone.

The man says Look, is your job important to you?

Maid says, Yes, very important.

Man says, Then put my wife on the phone now!

Maid answers Sir, I didnt want to tell you this but she is in the bed room and, well she is with another man.

He goes berserk, cools down, and asks the Maid if she has a gun.

Maid says Yes I do.

He says, Go in there and shoot them both, Ill give you $10,000 cash.

So the maid leaves the phone and he hears a bang, then he hears another and another then again and once again. The maid gets back on the phone and reports, Well sir its done.

He asks, What were all the shots?

Maid says, I shot her first and she died right away but when I shot him he got up and ran down the hall so I plugged him again then he ran outside and around the pool so I shot him again and this time he died.

The man exclaimed, Pool ??? Wait a minute, Is this 555-4350 ???


[URL=http://img690.imageshack.us/my.php?image=confusedman.jpg][Image: confusedman.jpg][/URL]

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  computers tech support.... very funny...
Posted by: funchit - 02-14-2010, 08:01 AM - Forum: Jokes - No Replies

This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills! If you skip any, you have to read the last one! Unbelievable, but supposedly all true!!!!

Laugh00 Lol2 Grin01


=================================


Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Female customer: A white one...

===============

Customer: Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....

===============

Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?


===============


Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on 'start' for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.


===============


Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...


============== =


Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.


===============


Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.


===============


Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...


===============


Tech support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?


== =============


Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.


===============


Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.


===============


Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.


===============


Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?


===============


A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'


===============


And last but not least...

Tech support: 'Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

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Smile If Bill Gates Start Making Movies ....
Posted by: zahid1981 - 01-21-2010, 03:49 PM - Forum: Jokes - Replies (1)

IF BILL GATES START MAKING FILMS IN BOLLYWOOD, NAMES OF HIS MOVIES WOULD BE LIKE THIS........


1 Hang To Hona Hi Tha

2. Meri Disc Tumhare Paas Hai

3. Aao Chat Karain

4. Programmer No.1

5. Mera Naam Developer

6. Java Wale Job Le Jayenge

7. Hum Apke Memory Mein Rehte Hein

8. Do Processor Baarah Terminal

9. Tera Code Chal Gaya

10. Har Din Jo Mail Karega

11. Network Ke Us Paar

12. Debugging Koi Khel Nahi

13. Jis Desh Mein Bill Gates Rehta Hai

14. Raju Ban Gaya MCSE

15. Client Ek Numberi Programmer Dus Numberi

16. Login Karo Sajana

17. Nakhra PC Ka

18. 1942 -- A Bug Story

19. Kaho Na Virus Hai

20. Crash Se Crash Tak

21. Haan Maine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai

22. Password De Ke Dekho

23. Terminal Apna Login Paraya

Grin01 Grin01 Grin01 Grin01 Grin01 Grin01 Grin01 Grin01 Grin01 Grin01

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  Sardar Jokes by a Proud Sardar (Just for Fun)
Posted by: funchit - 01-19-2010, 06:29 PM - Forum: Jokes - Replies (2)

Sardar Jokes

Sardar ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

* * * * *

Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

* * * * * *

How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear

* * * * * *

What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
Run like Hell....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

* * * * * *

How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

* * * * * *

What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.

* * * * * *

Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.

* * * * * *

Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.

* * * * * *

How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.

* * * * * *

What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.

* * * * * *

What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?
The back of his head.

* * * * * *

What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.

* * * * * *

Laugh00

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