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The Best Humor Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous sayings
#1
The Best Humorous Quotes, Favorite Funny Quotes, Humour sayings


It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
- Rami Belson

"It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner."
---Ben Bergor

"I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me. "
- Unknown

"People have the right to be stupid. Some people abuse that privilege. "
- Unknown

"Don't play stupid with me...I'm better at it. "
- Unknown

"I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned "
- Unknown

"When I die, I want to die like my grandmother, who died peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in her car. "
- Unknown

"I'm never wrong. I once thought I was wrong, turns out, I was mistaken. "
- Unknown

"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."
- Whinnie The Pooh

"People that don't know me think I'm shy.
People that do know me wish I were. "
- Unknown
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#2
"Heaven won't take me and hell's afraid I'll take over. "
- reachel

"Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?"
- Roxy Quiksilver

"East to the Sea, West to the Land, Death to the Bi*** that touches my Man. "
- Unknown

"Last night I was looking at the stars and I wondered... where the hell's my ceiling! "
- Unknown

"Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. "
- Unknown

"Please don't interupt me while im ignoring you. "
- t-shirt

"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. "
- W. C. Fields

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice??? "
- Tara

"Before I criticize someone, I walk a mile in their shoes. That way, if they get angry, they are a mile away and barefoot."
- Unknown

"There is no such thing as a stupid question, just stupid people who ask questions. "
- Unknown

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#3
"I'm outta here like a deaf kid in a game of musical chairs. "
- Lisa B.

"I refuse to answer that question on the basis that I don't have the answer. "
- Unknown

"There are two words guys hate: Don't and Stop...Unless those words are spoken together. "
- Brad Hedges

"People will believe anything if you whisper it. "
- The Whispered Rule

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